Financial freedom can sometimes seem like an elusive dream, but it’s a tangible goal achievable with the right mindset and strategies in place. Founder of Crush Your Money Goals Bernadette Joy eliminated $72,000 in student loans in a year by intentionally aligning her financial goals with her values. Bernadette explains to Annie and Susan that overcoming financial stress involves addressing both financial behaviors and personal beliefs. She highlights actionable steps such as implementing “Screenless Sundays” and dives into how she empowers individuals to tackle their financial hurdles through her CRUSH Framework.
Transforming Your Financial Journey
[00:09:01] “That was when I realized, wow, I have just been following someone else's recipe for success and it does not feel like that for me. I did what I suspect a lot of people would do once they figure out that they are in a massive amount of debt. I googled how to get out of debt and how to get out of debt fast.”
[00:16:16] “And so one day a week on my screenless Sunday, I don't have to impress anybody. I don't have to do anything to try to convince people of who I am or how I'm valued. And I just be, and that one habit that I have implemented for the last couple of years now has done such wonders for both my mental health and my wealth building journey. Because I started to see, oh, actually there's a lot of things that I can do that brings me peace and actually makes me feel like a valuable person that doesn't rely on external validation.”
[00:39:23] “I've had hundreds of people to test this [CRUSH] framework on over the last eight years. The acronym stands for Curate your accounts, which is C. Reverse into independence, Understand your net worth, Spend intentionally, and then H is heal your money wounds. The book is structured where there's five habits that you can try per step in the framework.”
Connect with Bernadette Joy
Website - https://www.crushyourmoneygoals.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/bernadebtjoy/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/bernadebtjoy/
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@bernadebtjoy
X - https://x.com/bernadebtjoy
Crush Your Money Goals Free Guide - https://www.crushyourmoneygoals.com/freeguide
Audio/video editing and show notes by Podcast Abundance. Find out how they can help you too by visiting www.podcastabundance.com/services
00:00:04 - Annie Dickerson
Hey there. I'm Annie Dickerson.
00:00:06 - Susan Elliot
And I'm Susan Elliott.
00:00:07 - Annie Dickerson
And on today's show, we have a fabulous guest for you. Her name is Bernadette Joy. She is the founder of Crush youh Money Goals and the author of the brand new book by the same name, which will be out on December 10th. She's fantastic. We cover so much in this episode.
00:00:25 - Susan Elliot
In particular, listen out for her insight after going on this journey herself to discover what is her best financial self. That turned into pursuing financial freedom in her own way. Then she became a coach. And what she sees are some of the biggest challenges for people right now this year, after having gone through the global pandemic four years ago and now in this new place. And it's totally different than maybe what she started with and what she saw even come out of the pandemic. What is really like challenging people most right now about their personal finances. That part of the conversation got really, really good.
00:01:04 - Annie Dickerson
And as we've always talked about, it's great to know the steps of how to build financial freedom, how to save, how to get out of debt. That's an important piece, but that's just a very small piece of the puzzle. And Bernadette talks about how there's so much more below the surface in terms of what you were taught about money growing up, what your family values are, what your woundings are around money, and how to heal that money. Trauma is something that she covers in her new book, Crush your Money Goals. So we talk a lot about all of those things in this conversation.
00:01:40 - Susan Elliot
I want to say I really appreciate her perspective on the overabundance of information that's out there right now. And this is also leading her into her conclusions about what people are challenged with most these days. But it's true, like, all of the answers are seemingly out there. The systems, the processes that we need to become our millionaires, to bust out of debt, to invest, there is too much information out there. And being a thought leader herself, she reflects on this in really, really neat ways. And how she thinks about how people should almost be creating their own rules and that it's turning back into people having less confidence even though there's more information out there. So just her position as a thought leader in this space really helps us suss out what is the valuable point of all of this knowledge and how can you actually use it in a meaningful way in your own life?
00:02:33 - Annie Dickerson
Exactly. It's cutting through that fluff and really figuring out what do you want out of all of this. It's what we talk about all the time, that creating that life by design. I mean, getting out of debt is important, getting on the path to financial independence is important. But really, what is it all for? And that's a big part of what we talk about in this episode. You know, a big part of moving along your trajectory, whatever it may look like toward your financial goals, is having the right community around you so that you can have conversations just like this one around not just what your bank account looks like, but going deeper than that. In this episode, we talk about guilt and shame and the family burdens that you carry through generations. It's conversations like that that will really get you to move the needle on your own personal financial journey. So if you're looking to be part of a community like that, we invite you to join the Goodegg Investor Club. It's a community of people just like you who are looking to build wealth through investing in real estate and creating a long term, brighter financial future, themselves and their families. To join, just go to goodegg investments.com invest. With that, let's dive into our conversation with Bernadette Joy. Welcome to the show, Bernadette. How are you?
00:04:00 - Bernadette Joy
I am doing great. Thanks for having me.
00:04:02 - Annie Dickerson
Oh, my gosh. We are so fortunate and so grateful to have you here to tell your super inspiring story and to share all of your money wisdom with us and our listener. But first, I know you had a moment just a few years ago where things really drastically changed for you in terms of your money trajectory. You were crying on the floor of your office and you felt like you were being crushed below this burden of this debt that you had. Take us to that moment and share with us. What was that like? How did you get to that moment and then what transpired after that?
00:04:40 - Bernadette Joy
Well, we'll get right into me crying.
00:04:42 - Susan Elliot
Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:04:44 - Bernadette Joy
So very dramatic. I want everyone listening. Go look me up. And then picture this face just covered in tears. It was specifically January 2016. I was in the last quarter of my MBA program, the MBA program that was supposed to be the trajectory change in my life, because as many of us maybe have been sold the idea that education is the way that you get yourself into, like, the next echelon of wealth. So I had previously, before that, quit my corporate day job because I really wasn't happy in that space, thought that, okay, maybe if I go back and get an mba, I'll get a clearer idea. Maybe I just need to change my career path. So I'm in this last quarter of my MBA program. Realizing that not only do I still not know what I want to do after being in this MBA program for two and a half years was that now I was in $72,000 of student loan debt and I had just found out that it was accruing interest daily, daily something the tune of like $8 a day, which doesn't seem like a lot, but back then I was addicted to, you know, coffee and Starbucks and matcha lattes. And I was like, that is a matcha latte every day that I could have been drinking. And now I'm just sending it to the government. So the $8 wasn't what made me cry on the floor, it was the fact that I had the $72,000 accruing at what felt like a very hard pace to keep up with, knowing that I did not have a full time job lined up coming out of the MBA program. So imagine you went from making good money and having a stable career, even if you didn't like it, to now having $72,000 of student loans, having two mortgages, which is a whole other story and no plan for sustainable income in the near future. And that was when I realized, wow, I have just been following someone else's recipe for success and it does not feel like that for me. So I did what I suspect a lot of people would do once they figure out that they are in a massive amount of debt. I googled how to get out of debt, how to get out of debt fast, how to pay off student loans, and do you have to pay back your student loans? Like any reiteration of that question on Google? And what I did find was a lot of ads for some of the name brands in personal finance that you might know now. So, like the Dave Ramsey and the Suze Orman and the Tony Robbins and kind of all those people. I didn't know what else to do. So I just started listening to those things, listening to podcasts like this, watching videos on YouTube. What I found was that some of the advice was helpful, some of it was not. What I learned over that course of the time was really trying to figure out what advice was helpful, but also where did I have to make some of my own roles, make some of my own judgments about what would make sense for me at this point in my life, at this point in my financial journey, but also for me as a first generation Filipino American, for me as a female, for me as someone who grew up with a lot of money trauma. And that's where I felt like there were Gaps in that education that I was seeing seeking out. And I'm sure we'll talk more about it. But that was the pinnacle at which that changed the trajectory of. At least I identified that it was a problem that I wanted to solve. The solutions that were out there were not necessarily custom made for me. And I wasn't going to give up just because of the fact that there wasn't an easy solution to it.
00:08:11 - Annie Dickerson
Well, talk to us a little bit about that. What were some of the things that you maybe learned about money growing up as a Filipino American?
00:08:19 - Bernadette Joy
So I don't know if it's as much about me being a Filipino American. But I will say there's a lot you learn when your father has nine kids. He still somehow was able to at least put me and my brother through undergrad. And my younger brother, we're the eighth and the ninth kids. My father had seven kids in his first marriage and two kids in his second marriage. Very complicated. The rhetoric growing up was that money is scarce, which I think a lot of us can relate to. But I would actually say that in our case it was quite scarce because there was just a lot of bills to pay. And I think what was very interesting when I look back in hindsight is that my father did quite well for himself career wise. He moved his way up in corporate America to become like an advertising agency. My mom was a bookkeeper and my brother was an accountant. So there was no lack of knowledge around how to manage money. But, and I say this as reverently as I can, is that my father passed away in 2021. And when he passed away, he had basically no money to his name. So I say that in the sense of like, this idea that education and knowledge is the way that you become financially healthy and wealthy in my case was not true because my dad knew how to manage money. Whether he did it himself personally was a different thing. And so growing up there was a lot of this is what you should be doing, but don't do what I do kind of thing.
00:09:45 - Susan Elliot
Yeah, that's hard because it leaves you in this place of like, okay, I should do that, but I don't see that modeled. I don't see that working anywhere. Like, you want me to believe you, but you don't actually practice with like, that's a hard thing, especially as a kid to say, how am I going to do this in the future? Did that lead you to developing your own rules? Like, you digested all this new content, realizing you were in the position that you needed some Help. You got something wrong in this equation of life. You had too much debt. You didn't have the security of something in the future. And so as you digested that, you created these own rules. What was an example of any of those rules that you created?
00:10:24 - Bernadette Joy
I think where it was really helpful in some regards to some of the advice that I did hear out there was contrary to how I was raised. I can't generalize for all Filipino Americans or all Asian Americans or whatever, but I definitely grew up with this idea that face mattered more than fortune. Meaning, like, you should look rich even if you're not rich. So my dad, even though he made good money, he spent a lot of money trying to impress other people. My dad didn't buy, like, fancy clothes or, like, fancy cars or anything like that. But whenever we went out and when Filipinos go out, there's like, we roll, like, 20, 30 people, deep, healthy for everybody. But then a week later, asked to borrow money from me. So there is this, like, weird dynamic where I just seeped into me, whether it was implicitly or explicitly, that you should never let people know that you are in financial trouble or that you can't afford things. And in fact, you should do the opposite. You should, like, let people believe that you're doing super well and that you can afford everything and money is no issue to you, even if it is. So. One of the rules that I have come up recently, and I actually do talk about it a little bit, in my book, there's a whole chapter about it. It's called the Screenless Sunday. You can tell me what you think it sounds like, but basically, on Sundays, I turn off my screens, all of them like television. I lock my phone in my glove compartment in my car, and I just be. And I don't try to impress anybody because I do feel like six out of seven days of the week in some shape or form, we're all trying to impress somebody at some point. Whether it's our boss trying to tell them that, oh, I'm a good employee, or our clients as an entrepreneur to say, like, look, add all this value to you. Or for me, as a thought leader and a speaker, I'm constantly trying to convince people, like, financial freedom is the way. Like, believe me. So one day a week, on my screenless Sunday, I don't have to impress anybody. I don't have to do anything to try to convince people of who I am or how I'm valued. And I just be. And that one habit that I have implemented for the last couple of years now has done such wonders for both my mental health and my wealth building journey because I started to see, oh, actually there's a lot of things that I can do that brings me peace and actually makes me feel like a valuable person that doesn't rely on external validation.
00:12:45 - Susan Elliot
Yeah, what a great practice to just like continuing to get to know ourselves too. I find that as I've gone on the financial freedom journey and maybe you can speak to your experience coaching other people through this and that your goals and your ideas about it change so much along the way. And if you don't have a touch point as you're going along the process to just check in with like, what do I value right now? Like, what is bringing me the most joy right now? And is it the same thing that I was working towards 10 years ago or 5 years ago or 3 years ago? And that's a great weekly practice to be able to do that.
00:13:19 - Bernadette Joy
I think it's hard to do that if you constantly have the noise of like looking at to see what everyone else is doing. Particularly why I picked Sundays, aside from the fact it's a weekend, it's easier to do that on a weekday, is that growing up my family was like super Catholic. And so Sundays we went to church. Sunday was supposed to theoretically be the time that you reflect and like you think about all the things that you've done. And like, if you want to be really catholic about it, you'd be like, okay, what are all the sins that I did this week and how do I repent on Sundays? But what usually ended up happening is that we would see all our friends at church on Sunday and everyone would try to be like, dressed a certain way. And then we would all go out for these big meals that someone's dad would pay for. Then all the parents would brag about how their kids are all amazing or better than your kids. It was anything but that on Sunday. In terms of actually evaluating, well, what actually does matter to me felt like Sundays were the days that there felt the most pressure to show the tribe that you are worthy and valuable. So for me now it's all the cliche things like I journal, I go to yoga, I've been writing my bike around lately a lot. And that's the time that I get the best kind of reflective period to say, okay, this past week I really like this thing, I really didn't like this thing. I won't do that again. And also it's been a great time for me to reset for the upcoming week. To make sure that I don't get back into this habit of doing things for external validation and doing more things that actually feel like they're aligned with where I want to be personally. But also financially, I think this is.
00:14:49 - Annie Dickerson
A really important point. So you grew up seeing this in your father and in your culture and in your family. This idea of, if I'm in financial trouble, I can't let anybody see it. This is a private matter. This is not something for the external world. And here you are in 2016, you have discovered the weight of all of this debt, and you start to seek out help. But after that, you saw tremendous success. And we definitely want to talk about that piece, too. But what was the emotion? What was the feeling at that point, knowing that this was a private thing and how do I fix this? But I don't know where to turn. Was there shame? Was there grief? Like, what was that emotion at that time?
00:15:34 - Bernadette Joy
One of my favorite clients, she's a therapist, and so she's taught me the feelings wheel. Have you seen the feelings wheel?
00:15:41 - Susan Elliot
I'm going to go look for it now.
00:15:43 - Bernadette Joy
Yeah, it's great. So within the feelings wheel, like, shame is kind of like this broader bucket, and there's all these subsets in between it. It was a combination, I would say, of shame and guilt. I think shame specifically because of all the things I said before, like, you shouldn't be broke, you make good money, you're smart. Well, how did you do this? In a weird sense, guilt. Because I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to do this alone, and I probably would have to ask for help.
00:16:10 - Bernadette Joy
I didn't want to, quote, unquote, drag other people down with me. And when I say that, I mean specifically my husband. I made this choice to go to this MBA program. I made this choice to get into $72,000 of debt. And this was after we got married. So we didn't go into this marriage with this level of debt. So I felt this guilt of, oh, my gosh, am I going to drag down the both of us now? Because I don't know what I'm doing with this. So that day, when I literally scraped myself off of my office floor, I walked over to where my husband was sitting in the house and I said, I effed up.
00:16:40 - Bernadette Joy
And he was like, what do you mean? And I told him, I said, I just figured out that I have $72,000 student loans, and I didn't know that it was accruing interest. From the day that they kick off, I thought they accrued interest after, like I just didn't read any of the fine print. So it wasn't actually 72,000 I took out, it was less than that. But it had been accruing interest over the last two and a half years.
00:16:59 - Bernadette Joy
So it's actually very on brand for my husband. But he was just like, it's gonna be fine. Like, what are you stressed about? He was like, all of our friends have so much debt. Like, what do you mean? He was like, my brother is a pt, he has debt. Like your sister in law has that. Like all of our friends very stereotypically Asian. Like all of her friends are like nurses and doctors and everyone has debt. What are you talking about? Like, it's not a big deal. That's when it struck me that I said to him, I was like, well, I don't want to be like everybody else because everyone else I know who's our age right now is really stressed out. At the time I was in my early 30s, I was like, some of my friends have been carrying their undergrad debt since undergrad. It's been a decade. So the idea of carrying this weight, like this albatross around my neck for a decade, I was just like, oh, heck no.
00:17:47 - Bernadette Joy
So in a weird way, and I think this is what I think is interesting, is that a lot of people look at shame as a negative emotion, but I actually look at shame as a signal that whatever is causing you that shame is not aligned with how you want to be as like a human being.
00:18:02 - Bernadette Joy
And so your body is literally telling you, don't keep doing this, do something different. I would love to say, oh man. Like that day I was just like, yeah, let's go and do stuff. You know, I like wallowed for a couple more weeks and then I got busy and got to work of how I'm gonna pay this off. What was interesting is that that same external pressure that I felt to look successful, I flipped that to creating kind of external pressure.
00:18:26 - Bernadette Joy
At the time I wasn't like self motivated enough to be able to do this on my own. So what I did was that I started posting. I did the opposite of what most people would think. And my father was furious actually at the time that I was doing this. You think as like a 30 something year old woman you'd be like, I don't care what my dad thinks. No, I still care what my dad thought.
00:18:42 - Bernadette Joy
I was posting sticky notes, like post it notes with my student loan amount and anytime I made a payment to it, even if it was a Couple of dollars. I would take that one down off my refrigerator and put another one up. And it was very motivating for me to see that number going down little by little. Then I was taking these post it notes and posting it onto Instagram, just saying, hey, y'all, nobody cares, but I've done all the student loans and I'm really depressed about it, and so I'm just going to pay it off little by little, like, please wish me luck. And what I did not at all anticipate, which has now evolved into this eight year journey in personal finance, is all of those people that I thought were going to have something to say about this amount of loans that I've created for myself were the same people who were reaching out to me in DMS and saying, oh my gosh, I have so much debt too.
00:19:28 - Bernadette Joy
How are you doing this? I have no one else to talk to you about it. Can you share with me? Can we go out for cups of coffee? Can you, like, give me some tips? And that was what predicated what is now crush your money goals.
00:19:39 - Susan Elliot
Yeah. Surprise, surprise.
00:19:40 - Annie Dickerson
I just got chills all over my body.
00:19:42 - Susan Elliot
Yeah, I'm not surprised at all. I think everybody hides these kind of like money secrets in our closets of things we've mismanaged because we're supposed to know all of this stuff, and nobody knows it. Nobody has taught any of this stuff.
00:19:54 - Annie Dickerson
I recently learned that at the core of shame is really this fear that you're not going to belong, that people are going to shun you. So I love that you turned that shame on its head. You really flipped the script and you said, I'm not going to look away from this shame. I'm going to double down and I'm going to use this as the fuel to turn things around. And lo and behold, all these people around you are like, wait, me too, Me too. I feel that same way, but I don't know what to do or where to turn. So then, as people were reaching out, then what happened next?
00:20:27 - Bernadette Joy
So, personally, since then. So it was January of 2016. My husband and I aggressively worked on paying off those student loans. Long story short, we kind of knuckled our way through it. We basically lived on one income instead of both incomes. We really did narrow down a lot of our expenses. I would say we were really pretty frugal. My family literally called us cheap during that time.
00:20:50 - Annie Dickerson
You were like, thank you very much, it's true.
00:20:52 - Bernadette Joy
Exactly. I'm like, yeah, that's absolutely right. We are cheap right now because we can't afford to do this stuff again. I love that, you know, hindsight is 2020 on this, is that during that time, I really had no other focus than getting rid of these student loans. I don't know what possessed me, to be honest, other than shame of, like, going that aggressively on it. But by November of the same year, we had paid off all $72,000. I would say that was a pretty extreme time of our. Of our lives. But in hindsight, I don't know that I would have done it any differently because then I was done after 11 months. I think that was probably also the limit at which I could have really endured it. I think anything beyond that, I would have gone a little crazy. So personally, we paid off the $72,000 in less than a year. Then I was just like, wow, I was expecting to have this for another decade. Like, what else? What else can we do? I. I should probably learn more about money now that I have other things other than debt that I want to do. Then we worked on paying off the mortgages. Then we started doing a lot more investing. Then we started thinking about buying other properties and building a business and all of that professionally. And this is where it kind of overlaps is. I also learned during that time that when we were paying off all of that student loan debt, I used to feel really pressured to be out and about and like, oh, you can't be in at home on a Friday night because you should be out doing stuff. And I actually realized because we were spending a lot of time at home because we couldn't afford to go out. Well, I actually really am an introvert, and I do enjoy my own company, and I'd rather have friends over for board games than going out for beers at the brewery. So what ended up happening was that all of these requests that were coming in, like, hey, can I take you out for coffee? Can I take you out for a drink? I'm like, I don't really want to. So I said to my husband one day, hey, all these people keep asking me to go out, and I don't really want to, and I don't know them, so I'm not going to invite them over for board game night. I wish I could just record my answer to them and then just send them the link. And he was just like, you know that's called a podcast, right? I was like, oh, okay, that's what we'll do. So we started recording in 2017. We launched it in 2018, where it was supposed to be one season of it was called Crush this Debt. It was more like an audiobook. I scripted it. We did it into like shorter episodes. I had like a studio guy that was helping me put this all together. It was supposed to be a 10 episode podcast so that essentially, if I'm being really honest, people would stop asking me to go outside my house and.
00:23:07 - Annie Dickerson
We'Re like, stop bothering me. Here's all the answers.
00:23:10 - Bernadette Joy
Yeah, here, you don't have to buy me coffee or anything. Like, just listen to this. The opposite happened. People are like, oh, this is great. What else do you have? Like, can you now come to my organization? Can you come speak on tv? Can you do this video series for us? So professionally I was just like, oh, wow. People are seem to be really interested in this and I actually enjoyed it more than I thought. And the piece that I really enjoy about it is teaching people. I teach one of the personality tests that I do in my personal finance program is the spark type test. And it's free. Anyone can to do it. It's not my thing. It's a wonderful other organization that did it, but it's supposed to tell you, like, what kind of work lights you up. And it turns out that I am what they call a maven, which is I just love learning for the sake of learning. And so when I go back in hindsight and I say, oh, well, I don't understand like why I went so hard on like paying down the set is because that was a thing that I just happened to fixate on about learning all the different things and all the different ways. And I didn't realize I had soaked in so much. So then when people ask me questions, I'll just be like, oh, yeah, here's the answer, or here's what I learned, or whatever. And people like, wow, you're really smart. And I was like, oh, I don't think I'm that smart. I'm just really obsessed. Like, there's just something that I actually really enjoy learning about. And it has been in the past, like other things I've been obsessed about are like outer space or black holes. So it just happened to be during that time that I really focused on student loans. And then I took that same obsession and started learning about early retirement, financial independence, investing, real estate. And it's just been the gift that keeps on giving. Where that's the beauty about these money topics is like, there's an endless reservoir of things that you can learn.
00:24:45 - Susan Elliot
That's awesome. And so you started guiding people through that and sharing your knowledge. What Other things. Have you found that kind of trip people up in their lives? I mean, as you said, maybe yours was the debt to start and that's what tipped you over the edge. What are other places where people maybe are tipped over that edge to start working on things or they even get blocked in the process of working on their financial goals, on their path to financial freedom?
00:25:11 - Bernadette Joy
I would say fast forward 2024. I actually think things have shifted since when I first started doing this in 2018, like, dramatically. I think the pandemic really, like back in 2018, my podcast was a little rarer. There wasn't as many podcasts as there are now 2020 to 2022. Everyone was like, locked inside, essentially. And so there was a lot of financial education that came out, which I'm so grateful for.
00:25:35 - Bernadette Joy
What I think is interesting in 2024 that is unique about this time that we're in right now, number one is I think people are really overwhelmed and inundated by the amount of information that there is now. So a lot of times people who come to me, they've already heard all the things and I get it all the time. People like, well, I heard that you should do this or you shouldn't pay off debt and you should invest first or whatever it is. There is too much information for people. And I think people are having a really hard time on knowing what information to trust because there is a lot of misinformation.
00:26:09 - Bernadette Joy
People have also gotten a bit wary of the whole influencer world. For the last couple of years, personal finance was mimicking a lot of what the overall influencer world looked like. You'd see all these people who are like, hey, like, you should follow and join my program because look at me like, I'm retired at this age. And like, look at my cars and oh, I like have self care all the freaking time. I would love to say that I didn't fall prey to that, but I did follow some of those things too, because I was like, oh, it seems to work for other people.
00:26:39 - Bernadette Joy
So one is, I think people feel very inundated by what information they should follow and even trusting the information. I had someone yesterday, I'm hosting a retreat in Las Vegas for my clients who've been with me for a long time. And one of my clients said, my mom thinks I'm going to a culture. My mom thinks I'm being scammed out of money right now or whatever. And I'm like, can you show your mom my segment on Good Morning America? Like, I promise I've Been like, thoroughly vetted. Like, this is not fault. But to be fair, her mom has a fair reason to be worried about that because there are some sketchy things out there. Number two that I see right now is that I really do think debt is still a very strong issue, but even more so than it was a couple of years ago because the interest rates were just like higher in the last couple of years. I have had clients who have like six figures of credit card debt. And it's not because they were irresponsible. It's because they had one medical emergency, one car breakdown, one job loss that just like totally kicked them in the butt.
00:27:37 - Bernadette Joy
So that has been very, very big. And then the third thing that I think people are really, really challenged with right now, I think it's been the same for a long time. We used to call it Keeping up with the Joneses, but this is like another level of dissatisfaction with their own lives because of what they perceive other people's lives to really look like.
00:27:55 - Bernadette Joy
And I think it's extremely exasperated this time. Even like from 2020, from 2020 to 2024. Now I have so many clients who come to me and they genuinely think that they're poor when they are actually factually, mathematically, and like qualitatively are not poor. I'm like, you want to see poor? I mean, again, my family's from the Philippines. You want to see poor? Like, go go to some of these neighborhoods in Metro Manila and then come back and tell me that you're poor because you live in a two bedroom condo. Like, relax, like you're fine. So it's been very interesting for me to navigate all these three things because a lot of this is actually more of a psychological and mental health issue than it is a personal finance issue, which is why I am very focused on marrying the two when I coach people individually.
00:28:37 - Annie Dickerson
Well, that brings us to your book, Crush youh Money Goals, which I must say, it's a fantastic read. I don't know how you packed so much into this book, but it's still so relatable. You include so many client success stories and so many little anecdotes. That makes it so fun to read. It's not a typical personal finance book, and it's so practical in what it covers. Thank you. I think it's such an important time that this book is coming out now, especially, as you mentioned, at the intersection of all these things that are overwhelming people and making people feel like they're not enough. It's like so much polarity is happening in today's world. So, just for the listener, tell us actually what CRUSH stands for for listeners who might not be familiar with your CRUSH framework and give us a quick overview of who this book is for and what you're hoping to help people with through this book.
00:29:34 - Bernadette Joy
Thank you for the kind words on it because I literally just wrapped up the audiobook recording and nothing like reading your own words for like 15 hours straight to make you rethink everything you've ever done.
00:29:46 - Annie Dickerson
Humbling experience.
00:29:48 - Bernadette Joy
So I will say this, this is a book that I wish I had in 2016 where it's really centered more around habits versus just information. So interestingly, when the publisher approached me to write this book, they said, hey, we want you to write a book about a hundred habits for people. And I was like, no, I refuse, because no one should be inundated with a hundred habits. And secretly what I really wanted was 10 and we compromised at 25. But actually, now that I look back on the book, I'm glad that we had done the 25 because crush is the acronym that I use as my framework for coaching and CRUSH has evolved since 2016 up until now. And in the book I talk about the fact that I don't actually think that I really wrote this book, quote unquote alone. The reason it's really jam packed with a lot of stuff is because I've had hundreds of people to test this framework on over the last eight years now. And the acronym stands for curate your account, which is C. Reverse into independence, understand your net worth, spend intentionally and then H is heal your money wounds. The book is structured where there's five habits that you can try per step in the framework. My goal for people is ideally, if you picked up this book and by the way, it's 18. So I tell people, if you want to learn everything that ever happened to me in the last eight years that would help you become debt free or a millionaire or both, this is the cheapest way you're going to be able to do it. So $18 to get 25 possible solutions to what you feel like is a gap in where you want to be financially. And what I am really proud of about this book is, as you mentioned, I have all these anecdotes of people, not just myself. There's all of these people and I talk about it like the youngest person who contributed to this book was in their 20s and the oldest person was 72. All of these people showed that all of these different steps work for everyone. But how you apply Them personally will be unique to you. My goal for you, if you were to read this book, is that you would read the whole book in entirety at least one time. But then you go back in and you pick one habit at a time that you implement until you feel like it's become a part of your routine. This is a book that I hope could sit on your nightstand for the next few years. Not just I read it once and that was a great read. It's read it once, go back, have a journal with it, because we have what we call ritual reflections in it where you can actually journal about how your habits are going. And so this book was meant to basically be me in book form that could sit alongside you for the next couple of years.
00:32:19 - Annie Dickerson
Even better than a cup of coffee because you've got this manual to be with you, alongside you as you're integrating all of these habits into your life. I mean, under 20 bucks, all of this wisdom all in one place is just priceless. And so I hope all the listeners go out and get this book. I'm so grateful that I have this book. It's going to be on my nightstand as I integrate some of these habits. So, Bernadette, it's been such a joy. Bernadette, joy. I'm sure you get that all the time. Of course, of course you do. To learn about this hugely inspiring journey that you've been on. And not only that, but how you've given back and helped others along the way as well. So with that, we're going to move into the final part of our show, the Life and Money Show Spotlight round. We're going to ask you three questions we ask all our guests. Bernadette, you ready?
00:33:10 - Bernadette Joy
Yes.
00:33:11 - Annie Dickerson
All right, so the first question is about your life and money. Share with us one thing that you're doing to live a meaningful and intentional life by design.
00:33:21 - Bernadette Joy
This is going to sound crazy. It is. Being an avid K Pop fan, so the day that we're recording this, I'm getting on the road to go host this conference fincon. And it's about a four hour drive and I'm trying to time my drive perfectly such that when the tickets go on sale for the Music Awards, basically it's like the Grammys of K Pop and it's happening for the first time in la, which means that I will actually have a shot at getting there. The tickets go on sale at 7:00 today. So I have become very good at managing my calendar, my finances, my meetings day to day. Because if there's a Certain K Pop concert or a certain K Pop event that I want to go to, My whole life will shift for that. So I'm not suggesting that K Pop has to be the thing for you, but there should be something like that that forces you to design your life differently. And for me, that just happens to be this fanaticism around K Pop.
00:34:10 - Annie Dickerson
Yeah, I love that. I agree. Totally agree. Everyone should have that one thing that makes you want to change your whole calendar, bend over backwards, whatever it is, to be able to be there or to get that ticket or to do that thing. And it just makes you feel alive. Right? And that's what we're here. It's not just about the money. It's not just about watching the numbers accumulate in your bank account, but it's what you're going to do with that and how you're going to really live your life. So I love that. Best of luck on getting those tickets.
00:34:40 - Bernadette Joy
Thank you.
00:34:41 - Annie Dickerson
Second question is about others life and money. So share with us one life or money hack. You've shared with us many already, but maybe one specific that comes to mind. And by hack we mean a tip, a tool, a resource, maybe a habit from your book that has really helped you on your journey that you think will help others as well.
00:35:00 - Bernadette Joy
So one that comes to mind because I am trying to do it again this year. It's one of the habits I talk about in the book. It's called Declutter the Date challenge. And simply put, I become a minimalist. You can see you guys were saying earlier, like, oh, that's a real room. Like, yeah, this is like my actual office. There's not a ton of stuff in here. So the declutter the date challenge is basically whatever date it is today is the amount of things that you declutter from your home. So today, October 22nd. So the challenge today is try to find 22 things in your house that you no longer need that you can either use up or donate or resell. And I love this game one because I just like making games for myself. And there was a whole Marie Kondo period that I went through. But what it has really done for me is rethink my spending intention. So right now I'm decluttering my closet because I know next week I'm heading to Japan and I have never been to Japan before. I will be buying many a clothes, but I don't want to just add more stuff to my existing closet that's already pretty full. So I'm challenging myself today to find 22 items that will make room for the clothes that I will buy in Japan. And the whole thing that I want to impart upon people who are listening to this is that the decluttering thing for me is less about the actual stuff and more so about thinking about, again, what brings you joy, but also how will that inform your future money choices? So even for me going through my closet, I'll say, hey, okay, I have, like, five black T shirts, so maybe I won't go for black T shirts in Japan. Maybe I'll buy something different.
00:36:29 - Annie Dickerson
What a great practice. I think as a culture, we spend so much time just accumulating, and we never think about the other end of getting rid of or giving away things that making that a regular practice helps you to keep that in mind when you're buying something new. So I think that's fantastic. I went to Japan for my 30th birthday 10 years ago now. And the one thing I regret, which I'm going to tell you so that you don't regret it, is when we were 30, the fruit was just so expensive. We only bought, like, one container of figs, and it was, like, the most amazing figs in my life. And here's what I learned, is that the reason that the fruit is so expensive, as you may know, is in Japan, there's hydroponics. They're very intentional about farming their fruit, and none of it comes from out of the country. So it's like the best fruit in the world, and you can only get it in Japan. So I wish I had eaten more fruit when I was there. So take that for whatever it's worth.
00:37:29 - Bernadette Joy
Oh, no. My health coach is going to be very happy that you said that. My husband and I already packed for Japan, even though we're not. We're not going until next week, but we're planning to have one suitcase and two duffel bags just completely empty. I'm just going to bring back as much stuff as possible because I'm definitely into that. Totally. Thank you.
00:37:48 - Annie Dickerson
Love it. All right, and final question is about life and money and the world. So share with us one thing you're doing to help make the world a better place, whatever that means for you.
00:37:57 - Bernadette Joy
I never was particularly, like, politically inclined and not to make this, like, a political conversation, but I live in Charlotte, North Carolina, where right now, in 2024, we're a couple of weeks from the elections. Not just the presidential. Just like, I encourage everyone to look at all of the down ballots in your particular state, because if you care about life and money, then you should care about who is creating the laws in your particular area. So one thing that I'm involved in right now is I'm one of the creators in North Carolina that's helping out with one of the campaigns. And right now my major mission is just to get as many people out there to go and vote, regardless of who you decide to vote for and having a plan to get there. So I encourage everyone to, if this episode comes out afterwards, and I hope that you have voted. I am really excited about the fact that I have this opportunity to be part of this campaign. And honestly, I will say that it was a really hard decision for me to make because as you probably know, like, it's very polarized right now in this country. And I really debated as to whether or not that I wanted to voice my voice, like kind of what I personally believe in on my platforms. And it turned out to be the greatest decision ever because I feel very aligned with why I'm doing what I'm doing. And I do think it's really important, especially for women who are growing wealth. I realize that I'm in a professional and financial position to not be worried about, however other people perceive me, that that would actually impact me negatively. Meaning, like, if people don't like what I have to say, like, I'm okay with that because I don't have to worry about my boss or anyone doing that. And I realize that not everyone is a position to do that. So I feel very good about the fact that right now I get to be in one of the kind of critical states that is important in this election cycle. But like I said, regardless of who you decide to vote for, I just hope that everyone does go vote and I will continue to share that message broadly.
00:39:45 - Annie Dickerson
Yeah, agreed. And what an amazing thing that you took a chance to get out there, take up more space, make your voice heard, and face your fear of being part of this polarization. But really getting out there for yourself more than anything else. And in a small way, that's a lesson that I've learned recently. I was dancing recently at a retreat, and believe it or not, I'm 40 years old. For the first time in my life, I had this thought. Wait, this feels good right here. To move my body like this. Oh, I should just dance in a way that feels good to me. Who cares what everybody else is thinking? My whole life, I've been dancing for other people, what other people think. And in a small way, that's such a micro moment of everything that we do. In life so much, coming back to your father and doing things for other people and hiding your own financial situation, I mean, it's all related. So the fact that you're getting out there, that you're saying, you know what, this is what I believe in and doesn't matter what other people think because I'm going to make myself seen and I'm going to take up space, I think that is so inspirational and we need more people out there just like that. So, Bernadette, last question for you is, I know that our listeners are going to want to get in touch with you, learn more about you. They're probably going to offer you a cup of coffee, but hopefully they'll go grab your book instead. So tell people how they can follow up with you and where they can get a copy of your book.
00:41:20 - Bernadette Joy
I am so grateful to both of you for this platform. I love talking to other women who care about money and life. So thank you for doing this. If you are interested in learning about me, my book, or any of the programs that we have, it's@cushyourneygoals.com and if you go to crushyourmoneygoals.com freeguide we are offering tons of free resources that you can use to kickstart your journey. And if you decide to preorder the book and you can find the book on Amazon or anywhere that you buy books, it's coming out December 10th, but we are doing some special events for people who buy the book, including some free workshops and some fun challenges. And so I would love to see as many of you out there crushing your money goals with us coming in the new year.
00:42:06 - Annie Dickerson
Amazing. And December 10th, what a great time to launch the book right before the holidays. This would make a great holiday gift and to go through the book before the end of the year so that you can start this next year off right. All right, Bernadette Joy, speaker, thought leader, author, podcaster, and founder of Crush youh Money Goals. Bernadette, thank you so much for being here with us and our listeners today.
00:42:32 - Bernadette Joy
Thank you so much for having me. This is so much fun.
00:42:35 - Annie Dickerson
You've been listening to the Life and Money Show. The show all about helping you to create a meaningful and intentional life by design. For show notes or to listen to previous episodes, go to lifeandmoneyshow.com for more information on how to invest with us to create passive income and build wealth for your family, go to goodeg investments.com I'm Annie Dickerson.
00:42:57 - Susan Elliot
And I'm Susan Elliott.
00:42:58 - Annie Dickerson
And until next time. Remember that life is an adventure. And we're here with you every step of the way. Thanks for listening.